Ah the Millennials… that generation of Tweeting, Keeking, Vining, Yelping, Instagramming, and Liking instant gratification lovers, whose attention span is shorter than Peter Dinklage. Not like I even knew I was a Millennial until like… a year ago, because I am apparently behind the times on terminology. But yeah. Apparently, Gen Y, aka Millennial, is a thing. And I are one of them. And sometimes, like all good things, Millennials come in pairs. I happen to be part of a Millennial couple. And here is how you’ll know if you are too.
1. Your boyfriend’s idea of a romantic gift is a an external battery for your phone.
My boyfriend is what I like to call an “enabler” for my “addiction.” Seriously though, he got me the Enerpak Tube External Battery as a gift. And… yeah. Actually a good gift. Thanks babe.
3. You go for walks in the park just so you can snag portals on Ingress, couples style.
Nothing says “I love my significant other” and “I love nature” like walking side by side without looking at each other through a beautiful park while staring at your phone. But… once you sign up for the addiction that is Ingress, a GPS based portal hacking game, you will soon totally understand. Besides, trees are stupid, just Google what one looks like and you’re set.
4. No excursion is complete without a Foursquare check in or an Instagram photo souvenir.
Okay yes, sometimes, while I am supposed to be enjoying a meal with my boyfriend, or getting on a roller coaster on our vacation to Disney World, or kissing the Blarney Stone, or something, perhaps instead I’m checking in on Foursquare. Last I checked it was NOT a crime, people. Well maybe sometimes it enables crime. But at least I take plenty of amazing pictures during the experience with Instagram. I just want to document our every romantic moment on every social network that ever existed.
5. Your love is so deep you even want matching phones.
We want Samsung Galaxy S4’s. Him for the… bitty lil microbits and cool controlly mabobbers… and me for the 13MP camera. What?
6. Your relationship started with a Facebook message, and you tweet flirt. Way too much.
Once he added me on the Facebooks, I just knew. 3 years ago we started chatting about bad web design and LARPing… and yeah, maybe my boo and I decided to share a coffee over a Facebook message. And yeah, sometimes we tweet flirt. What??
7. Your significant other seriously considered investing in BitCoins as a retirement plan.
For all you non-savvy Internet people, BitCoins are like e-money… digital currency… like something out of an episode of Firefly or Battlestar Galactica. And yes, my boyfriend totally wants to jump on the Bitcoin bandwagon. Who can blame him, though, the share value on these things are sky rocketing! Maybe I should get some space moneys after all…
8. You may have dropped hints to your boyfriend about one of your Pinterest boards, specifically designed with pins of things you would like as gifts.
No offense to boys… but sometimes they just don’t know what to get you for a gift! Not saying all women are perfect gift givers, but we kind of are… my mom is a perfect example of this. But yeah, perhaps I have designed a Pinterest board specifically meant to clobber my amazingly loving boyfriend over the head with some simple ideas for birthday gifts. What???
9. Your boy is constantly finding adorable nuggets of domestic knowledge on LifeHacker.
Every day, Mark, has something interesting and potentially useful to tell me. Boyfriend is always finding glorious tips and tricks on Lifehacker. Like this Incredibly Simple Way to Escape from Wrist-Binding Zip Ties or How to Start a Fire with Doritos. You just never know, people.
10. You back-up all your important photos, tax documents, and data on a shared cloud.
What the heck could be more romantic than sharing a cloud? Take me to Care-a-lot, baby, because NOTHING says love like romantic cloud back ups. Most of our memorabilia is digital. It isn’t like it was when I was a kid, when we’d take our disposable 35mm camera on vacation, take the photos to the One Hour Photo (not that creepy one with Robin Williams) and get a set of sticky physical photographs as a memory. Nope. All our important photos of digital, and we sometimes back them, and other important documents and files, up onto a cute cloud like DropBox. Romantic, n’est pas?
I guess #11 should be… you write a big stupid blog post about your relationship. Okay I’m done.
Featured image from huffingtonpost.com