25 of my biggest pet peeves

  1. One-ply toilet paper.
  2. People who say “expresso.”
  3. Lukewarm coffee that I thought was hot.
  4. People who yell at their children in public for acting like children.
  5. Unnecessarily long receipts. Like come on, I just bought cat litter. I do not need that ridiculously long receipt for anything. I mean, unless I run out of cat litter I guess.
  6. People who leave empty boxes of blueberry waffles in the freezer. People, being my husband.
  7. Cursive fonts that aren’t kerned properly. Those little flappy doodles are supposed to connect with the other little flappy doodles, which is why they are sticking out so far.
  8. Price stickers that do not come off clean.
  9. People who spoiler all over social media before I’ve seen the show.
  10. Coffee that’s too sickeningly sweet, but I have to drink it anyway because I already left the drive-thru and I need my caffeine fix.
  11. People who don’t like Firefly. It’s a brilliant show, and you love it dammit!
  12. “Clumping” cat litter that so does not clump.
  13. The speed at which avocados ripen, and then go bad.
  14. People who call themselves “social media ninjas.”
  15. How my cape gets stuck under my butt when I sit down and it’s impossible to get up again.
  16. Talking on the phone to anyone ever.
  17. People who wear flip flops in winter.
  18. Apples in salad. Stay out of my salad, fruit!
  19. Cucumbers who are not yet pickles.
  20. People who don’t like pickles.
  21. Checking my voicemail.
  22. People who stand really close to me in line, and keep bumping into me. I have a bubble. Stay out of my bubble!
  23. People with fake plants in their houses. Like if you can’t keep plants alive, don’t pretend you have plants with imposter plants.
  24. People who say they hate people who have fake plants in their houses, but have them anyway. Like me.
  25. Secretly anise cookies.


This is a Doggie Bag post, which means I want you to take it home, and write your own! Post a comment with a link to your “25 biggest pet peeves” blog posts, or just comment with your own pet peeves.

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  • Kate

    Gotta comment on #4 because fellow shoppers have just as many rights as bratty kids and their irresponsible parents. Teach kids to have respect and be well-behaved, especially in public. Otherwise, leave them at home where they can “be themselves” all they want.

    • Stewie

      Definitely just in reference to parents trying to silence a child who isn’t being annoying or loud, but doing things kids are gonna do, like playing pretend, or singing, or being goofy (within reason)

  • Kate

    Hahahaha…you and I definitely shop in different stores! (And probably have very different tolerance levels.) But I know you were never allowed to act up, so I should have known what you meant.

    • Stewie

      Well I don’t think my mom ever had a problem with us acting like normal kids 🙂 I have seen some parents get mad at their kids for playing pretend and it blows my mind! They are kids, they will play pretend!

  • B

    I hate voicemail wit a fiery passion!

  • OMG! I’m writing a list!
    But, off the top of my head: People who order Carmel Macchiatos Upside Down/Stirred (which is LITERALLY a Vanilla Latte with Caramel sauce); & American Football Season.

  • 1, 4, 8 – YES. Especially 8. SO INFURIATING.

  • This list is great. My big pet peeves now are drivers who don’t signal, bicyclists who ride facing traffic as opposed to with traffic, and walkers who walk with traffic as opposed to facing it.

  • The word “expresso” gets me like an ice pick in my “Third Eye.” I wrote one of these posts myself!!! Awesome list and thanks for the inspiration!!!