10 mistakes I’ve made so you won’t have to.

Thanks to Jeff Hilimire, I’ve got the #Blindpost bug. What’s a blind post, you ask? Well, I just told you. I hyperlinked it, right back there. Back where it says #Blindpost. You see? Oh hell, I’ll link it again. Here is what a #Blindpost is. The #Blindpost I’ve chosen to write is on Jeff’s post, 10 mistakes I’ve made so you won’t have to. So attention Internet! I’m 28 now, and lived a long and interesting life, full of blunders and bruises. I don’t necessarily regret my mistakes, but, hey, if someone can learn from me and prevent themselves from embarrassment or disaster, more power to them. Do not do the following.

eat-me-pizza
Photo from theeatteam.com

1. Sign up for a credit card in exchange for one pizza.
I’m not sure what it is about pizza that makes a college kid go, “How high!?” But pizza is like the crack cocaine of 20-somethings. When I was in college, Chase Credit Card Services decided this would be a fabulous time to exploit me, and my fellow 20-year olds, to sign up for a high interest rate credit card, in exchange for one pizza. And guess what. I fell for it. I also decided that I needed some new clothes, and quickly maxed the card out. What a nightmare! Don’t worry, it’s long paid off now. But the moral of the story is, go for a better interest rate credit card, down the line, when you actually NEED a credit card. You DON’T need one in college. Not just for a free pizza, anyway. Shame on your Chase Credit Card Services, for luring in kids with pizza. Shame on you.

2. Try to get on a plane with an expired driver’s license.
When Mark and I went to Disney World (the one in Orlando, Florida) in January 2013 (a mere 10 months ago!), I totally got onto the plane with an expired license. My driver’s license was a couple of months out of date, yet I boarded, and departed, twice, with an invalid license. The worst case scenario would have been that I ended up stranded in Florida, and unable to return home, trapped for trying to board a plane with an expired license. I could have missed work or potentially had to ask someone to drive to Florida to get me. It could have been very bad. So don’t do it! It’s risky! I totally could have been out-of-state, with no way to get home. Although I would have been trapped in the land of Disney characters, so actually maybe it wouldn’t have been that bad…

3. Ignore parking tickets, assuming that they will never catch up to you.
Something must be wrong with my brain. Freshman year, I decided I was too good to park in my assigned college parking spot. Living in Pennsylvania, the sidewalks get icy, so instead of parking three blocks away in my assigned parking spot, because the sidewalk was too slippery, I decided to park one block away in an illegal spot… for three months, acquiring several parking tickets along the way. This is actually a lot more serious than I even realized. My car could have been repossessed or my parents could have gone to jail if they didn’t have the money to cover the tickets, since their name was on the title. That was really dumb of me. Don’t ignore parking tickets! They actually do keep track of them! Go figure!

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Photo via stefiecakes on tumblr

4. Sneak into an R-Rated movie at 16.
This might be one I recommend, instead of discourage. This is one of those classic coming-of-age things that kids do. When I was 16, I decided I wanted to adorn myself in goth make up, with my best friend Lori, and sneak into “Freddy Got Fingered.” (A horrible waste of a movie.) Needless to say, my genius mother tracked me down, and drug me out of the theater mid-movie by my ear, with the help of the movie theater manager. How embarrassing!

5. Drink 1/3 of a bottle of Southern Comfort, because your big, beefy, football player friends can.
Sophomore year I was just soooo cool. I had a scrotum of steel and a bladder of bronze. I decided that I could match my college bros shot for shot. I ended up running around the halls of the dorm, riding a fire extinguisher, and making a complete ass of myself. And puked a whole lot. Don’t try to keep up with college dudes when drinking! They are much bigger than you!

6. Leave your car unlocked, when it has your mother’s antique camera in it.
At a time in my life, I was sometimes too lazy to “always” “lock” my “car.” (Yes, I am actually doing the quotey fingers.) So I ended up leaving my car unlocked in the grocery store parking lot, with my mother’s antique Nikon on the seat of the car. Needless to say, the door was opened, and the camera was stolen. And I still feel horrible about it.

7. Get one of those stupid Columbia House CD subscriptions.
Any of those horrendous hidden subscription services are always too good to be true. 12 CD’s for A PENNY? SPICE GIRLS AND HANSON? No. Put it down. You sign up for that, and you will be on the phone with a customer service representative, fighting them over random charges to your card. If it seems too good to be true, it frigging is. And beware, the fine print usually says, “Free for 30 days, until we steal your first born child and your soul.” Guys, you will want your first born child and soul. Trust me.

8. Try to cover up a freshly pierced, irritated nose-ring piercing with make-up.
When you get a hole punched in your face, the piercing spot is going to be a little bit unhappy. Your skin is trying to tunnel out, and therefore going to be slightly red, icky and agitated. Don’t try to cover up the healing process with Maybelline foundation and powder. It just makes it worse. Instead, take daily hot steamy showers, while putting the piercing under the steamy water flow, and let it air out. No lotions or make up!

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Photo via ayearofthoughts on tumblr

9. Sacrifice food because you’re in a bad break up.
I had broken up with a long-term boyfriend, and decided that eating was for squares. So I stopped eating for a few days. And when your body doesn’t get food, guess what? It doesn’t work good. So I got up to give a presentation in front of my science class on the Ozone layer. I ended up standing up to speak, getting nervous, and fainting. I woke up lying on my back, with my feet propped on a trash can, peering up at my confused teacher and classmates. They ended up calling the EMT’s who made me eat sugar, which wasn’t so bad. But I was completely humiliated. Hey, at least the teacher gave me a C! Lesson learned – eat food! It helps you to not pass out!

10. Go for the broken guy, assuming you can fix him.
I dated a guy about 6 years ago, who was the “bad boy” we all try to date. None of my friends thought it was a good idea, but for some reason, I went for it. Everyone told me he was a cheater, a terrible boyfriend, a guy who was disrespectful to women, a restless soul, and a guy that I just couldn’t tame. They were right. Moral of the story… listen to your friends! And don’t try to change someone who has a bad history. History repeats itself, and trying to change people never works out in the end. People will be who they are.
After reading Jeff’s post… I see that this is not quite what he was writing about. But, still, I think it’d some good advice. 🙂


What mistakes would you warn others about? Leave them in a comment!

7 thoughts on “10 mistakes I’ve made so you won’t have to.”

  1. Oh my god. This post is AWESOME!!!! #4 made me laugh out loud at my desk, and I have experienced #5 and #8 almost verbatim!
    Plus, newly pierced noses hurt when you sneeze! That was not fun to find out!

    The expired license one is pretty crazy too. I almost got stranded in FL on my way back to Costa Rica (where I lived at the time) after a visit to the States. Unless you have a return flight booked before you board a flight to CR, they will NOT let you board. (That rule is to deter people like me, who live there & exist under the radar. But that’s a story for another day.) I had to get online on my laptop and book a flight home for Christmas STAT while everyone boarded. Horrible, embarrassing experience. And I could have been stranded in FL, with no way to get to my belongings and cat in Costa Rica, and no way to get to my parents in Chicago. Yikes!

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