1. Keep your husband-to-be involved, even in tiny details. He’ll tell you if he thinks you are getting annoying.
Correct me if I am wrong, but typically, women tend to do most of the thinking, planning, choosing and organizing for the big day, versus their husbands. I mean, we’re pretty good at it. We have a vision! But there were times when I was on the psychotic Bride roller coaster, and I’d accidentally leave my husband behind. Surprise, surprise – he wanted to be involved in it all! And why shouldn’t he be, it is his big day too. I hated thinking I was annoying him with tiny little miniscule questions or details that he didn’t care about, but truthfully, it’s better to over-annoy him and ask him to tell you when to back off, versus leaving him out of the rush and thrill of the planning. Mark socked it to me a few times when I didn’t run something by him, and it not only showed me that he did care about the details, but wanted the day to be an “us” project and not just a “me” project. Totally “Aww” worthy.
2. Things will not go the way you plan. Things will not go the way you plan!
Bartending on my big day with my pal Kristina, because the party was still raging, but my bartender was off the clock! Turned out to be one of my favorite parts of the day.
The wedding I had in mind is not the wedding I got. It was truthfully, much better. But you have to be flexible, and adjust your attitude at the drop of a hat. If you get hung up on expectations, then when you get something different, you will be disappointed, even if it isn’t necessarily “worse.” Your expectations should be: “To marry the person of my dreams in front of friends, family and God (if you’re into that).” And that’s freaking it.
3. Don’t be afraid to be a little bit of a Bridezilla.
When you get engaged, of course you feel like the happiest person ever, lounging about on Cloud 9, in a state of perfect bliss. But actually, you’ve just been hired on for a job that is painful, stressful, and requires a lot of work. Sorry guys and gals, but it’s true! Friends and family will have expectations of you to delegate, have a plan, and make use of their abilities. So try to focus on making decisions and doling out work. Your friends and family want to help you, so you’ll have to give them stuff to do.
4. Take moments during your wedding day to do nothing, but just soak it in, and observe.
Mark battling his way to me, during Capture the Bride. Many of our guests had boffer and latex LARP weapons and were ready to kick his ass!
You might be in such a rush to run around and enjoy the day, flitting about like a happy little freaking butterfly. You’ll be constantly talking, dancing, and scuttling about, like a crazed lunatic, that you’ll forget to focus on the moment. Take a moment (or several) to stop, sit down by yourself, people watch, take a mental picture of the guests, decorations, sounds, and smells… and then return to the action. These little breathers really became great mental photos for me.
5. Keep track of what you spend, and stick to your budget.
Well.. we WERE keeping track when we first started planning… right up until about 2 months before the big day. Then it all started going to hell. Things will get hectic, but create a spreadsheet and track every dime you spend! This way you can see what your budget was and where you measured up. It’s also good practice for post wedding financial planning and budgeting with your hubster.
6. Ask a bridesmaid or close friend to force feed you during the day.
Mark and I with our friend, Ibi, who is an ambassador for the United Nations.
You, or someone, paid a lot of money for that delicious food, and you probably won’t find time to eat. Ask someone to get you food on the day, before the big day. Then tell them to make you sit down for a minute, and scarf it down. Even if you aren’t hungry, the food is going to be delicious, and you will want to remember how it tasted!
7. Nothing will go wrong on the day.
My niece Maddie, as my flower girl, walking up the aisle with me. Primadonna.
Things are going to take on a life of their own on the day. One of your bridesmaids might get wasted-face, and sing a rousing rendition of “Don’t rain on my parade” by Barbara Streisand on the head table. Your crazy Uncle might take his shirt off, and spend all night hitting on the bartender. Or the 2 year old flower girl might refuse to walk up the aisle on her own, and instead walk up with the bride and father of the bride. But whatever it is, the mistakes and mishaps will make the day. It will be perfect. Remember: It’s your wedding day. Enjoy the shit out of it.
What advice would you give yourself pre-wedding? Leave it in a comment and let me know!